The Glass Sheld.

     I find myself in those minority who would like to make a name but at same time be unknown. its true, that it feels good to be acknowledged by others for what you do, but I simply can't stop thinking what others will think of me when they come to know that it is Me. Maybe because I find joy in discovering secrets, it could also be that I like to remain a secret that I unconsciously, desperately want someone to search and find out as if they are searching for a hidden treasure. I also found that I keep so much within me, that it becomes difficult to even make friends. Though I want to tell them that I like them and would love to be around them and learn from them, I never end up doing it, thinking about what will they think about me if I say it out loud. Its not that I am not confident about myself. I know for sure what I want and what I don't. But when it comes to  certain things and people I simply can't make myself speak up. 

I envy those people who speak without thinking, though most of the time it does end them up in trouble, but at least they don't have regrets with what they couldn't say, especially to people who matter the most to them. For me most of the time it's like I'm lost within me. The constant conflict with, what should I say or what would be best way to say it, keeps me trapped within a glass shield which I unknowingly keep building. I can definitely see through the glass and so can you but my voice never passes through.   

Hope someday I can break through the glass and stop all this mess inside my head and come clean with what's going on within me.                                                           Love, Life's Amazing.